Late Night Chat
by AngelMouse5
Summary: A very late night conversation between John and Gordon... JOHN AND GORDON FIC! COMPLETED BUT MORE TO COME - please read and review!
1. Chapter One

_Disclaimer: I don't own Thunderbirds, wish I did. This one's for Boomercat as much as myself, our two favourite characters!_

**Late Night Chat**

**By Mouse**

The bright silver and orange space station sat happily in its secure orbit. It watched over the small blue green planet below with ever-present computers, sensor's, radios and just about every type of communication available to the species of man. It was on the look out for the that one distress call that came through occasionally, the one instance when all hope is almost lost and there is no other otpion left to save lives. 

It was waiting for someone to call upon International Rescue.

But it wasn't waiting alone. If you happened to look inside, past the mighty engines that kept her in orbit and supplied power to all her vital systems; past the oxygen generation plant that supplied fresh air and kept the place warm; even past all the emergency escape pods and gear that was essential to having a secure space station, you would find a very small habitation area. And in that small area you would find two small bedrooms, a living area and a very small workout space.

The living area had a small kitchenette, table and chair, pantry. Laundry facilites were off to one side of work out area. Both bedrooms were nice and neat; the only differences between the two were minor. One bedroom had a poster of a racing car on it; the other had a telescope set up by the window. There was also a reasonably large workshop, it walls awash with tools, spare parts and instruments. All in all, it was its own little self-contained world.

The main room of the station was the heart of the station. Against one wall were the large embossed words – International Rescue. A fairly large window was set into it as well, providing an every changing star scape plus a view of the planet below. Computers took up the rest of the room, radios, faxes, you name it. And finally, there was a chair in front of the main panel, which is where the current agent would sit.

At the moment though, its regular inhabitant wasn't sitting there. In fact, he was standing by the window, staring out into space, his blue eyes slightly troubled as he looked out. Things had been very quiet lately on the rescue front and the home front as well. He had been on Thunderbird Five now for almost eight weeks straight. The last rescue Alan had gone on; he had broken his arm and three ribs when a large piece of concrete had fallen on him when they were rescuing people from an earthquake site. John had told his father that he was fine to stay on Thunderbird Five until Alan was well enough to relieve him. Scott had offered to come up but John had refused, saying even though he could fly Thunderbird One, Scott was still the best at it. 

John gave a soft sigh and glanced up at the clock. It was way past midnight, and by rights, he should be asleep, but tonight he couldn't for some reason. He leaned against the wall, folding his arms, resting his head on them. He was just in pajama bottoms, the starlight reflecting off his lithe, muscled body. His blond hair was messy and he gave off the aura of just being generally depressed. Sighing one last time, he resolved to make himself a hot chocolate and try to sleep again. Just then though, the radio beeped and glancing over, he saw it was a call from home. He went over to the chair and slumped into it, flicking the switch to accept the call. The screen came to life and he John smiled in spite of his mood.

Gordon was staring back at him, in his shorts that he preferred to sleep in, grinning madly. A mug of hot coco sat beside him. Gordon often called at odd times during the night, when all the other Tracy's were asleep, to keep John up to date on the family going ons and sometimes just to chat. 

Gordon looked at his older brother, and noticed the faint tiredness in his eyes, the slump of his shoulders, and the slight sadness in his manner. Last time he had seen John was about five days ago when John had called down to get a progress report on Alan. Everything was too quiet and Gordon knew that the middle Tracy brother would find that harder to accept than the others. Scott and Virgil were amusing themselves constantly with testing anything and everything Brains was coming up with. Alan was side lined so he had been spending some time on the mainland with Tin-Tin, having a holiday of sorts, so the youngest Tracy wasn't about. Out of all his brothers, Gordon was closet to John, mainly because John always stuck up for him, spent hours and hours with him doing horrible rehab exercises when he hurt his back. In fact, John was the only one who knew how much pain Gordon was in during that terrible time. Out of all brothers, Gordon knew that John would always be there for him, no matter what. He knew that about all his brothers, but John more than the others. So, he was detirmined to make sure his brother was okay, and cheer him up if necessary.

"Hey Johnny! How's it going?" 

John couldn't help but smile at Gordon's upbeat tone. His younger brother was special to him, his entire family was, but Gordon held a special place in his heart.

"It's going okay kiddo. What about you? How come it's taken you this long to call me? Cat got your tounge?" John couldn't help tease Gordon a little, it made things feel more real and more normal for him.

"Going okay. Haven't had chances to ring because Father's been in here late every night talking with his company board of directors, huge deal in the works apparently. Not sure what's going on with that. We heard from Alan and Tin-Tin today, the lucky buggers are in Paris at the moment, attending a fashion show Tin-Tin wanted to see." Gordon noticed the slight slump in John's shoulders and studied his brother intently.

"That's nice for them." Gordon tilted his head slightly and looked at John.

"Okay, what's bothering you?" John jerked his head up, his blue eyes studying Gordon's brown eyes.

"What makes you think somethings wrong?" Gordon snorted.

"This is me you're talking to Johnny. I know you better than anyone else in this family; I can tell when something's bothering you. Is it the fact you're stuck up there for at least two more weeks before setting foot on terra firma again? Or that you haven't had human contact in almost over two months, and the food up there must really be getting to you."

John sighed and looked back at his younger brother. Gordon knew his mood better than any one else in the family, so knew he was feeling down. John sighed and gave in; he knew that Gordon could be a real pest when he wanted something.

"Your right Gordon, I guess I am feeling a bit down at the moment." Gordon titled his head again, his eyes concerned.

"Why Johnny? I thought you loved it up there?" John sighed and crossed his arms.

"I do Gordon, don't get me wrong. Its important work up here and it allows me plently of time to study the stars. It's just that sometimes, sometimes I just miss being able to reach out and give someone a friendly pat on the back, or ruffle Alan's hair… just to touch someone I guess." John glanced away, his eyes clouded with doubt. "I'm really starting to wonder if I make a difference up here you know? That sometimes if you guys even know that I'm around."

Unseen by Gordon or John, Jeff was standing outside in the hallway, Scott next to him. They had gone down to Thunderbird One's hanger hours ago to discuss some modifications and had come back to retire for the evening. They had noticed the faint light and heard the voices, so came to investigate. At John's words Scott wanted to burst in and object, but Jeff shook his head. He knew that John would never, ever admit these feelings to himself, or to his eldest son. So, the only way to know how John was feeling was to listen in and then see what he could do later. 

Gordon looked at his brother, surprised at his words. When he spoke his words were intense, strong and full of conviction.

"John, you make all the difference in the world. When someone calls us, yours if the first voice they hear, your's is the one that calms them down, let's them know we're on our way. You keep us on track, by telling us where to go, what's going on and who's in trouble. You keep us all on the straight and narrow. When Alan and I were in primary school, who was the one who stayed behind to walk us both home. When I was in rehab, you were the only one I would let help me, because I knew I could be myself, and truly admit what was going on with me. When I told Dad that I wanted to be an Aquanaut, you stood by me. So don't you ever think that I'm ever going to forget you're around. You mean the world to me Johnny, to all of us." John was stunned by his brother's words. His next words came out as a whisper.

"You mean that, don't you Gordon?" John studied his brother's face intently, amazed and touched by the loyalty and love he heard in his voice. "You truly do, don't you?" Gordon smiled gently, his eyes soft.

"Of course I do you idiot. I love you. You're my big brother; you're always there for me. It's about time I was there for you." John was left speechless by Gordon's simple statement.

"I love you to Gordon. Thank you." Gordon blushed crimson, clashing horribly with his brownish/reddish hair. 

"Hey, what's an annoying kid brother for but to help out." They both laughed softly, so as not to wake the others. They then began discussing the latest Ice Hockey scores and Jeff motioned for Scott to move out into the kitchen.

Scott closed the door behind them, his face shocked at what he had over heard. He looked at his father.

"Dad, how could we have missed John feeling like that?" Jeff sighed as he sat down at the bench and tried to smile at his eldest.

"Sometimes I think we tend to forget John's needs. He's always been quiet, dependable, reliable and very good at what he does. Your all different in your own way Scott, John more than most I think. I think we've gotten so used to depending on that he's okay up in the space station, that we've forgotten he's a person first, not an International Rescue agent. As soon as Alan gets back on the island, I want him up in that station for at least five weeks. We are giving your brother a nice, long vacation." Scott smiled, still feeling slightly guilty over how he had missed his younger brother's mood.

"That sounds like a plan Dad. A good one."


	2. Chapter Two

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Disclaimer: I don't own the Thunderbirds, wish I did though. Thanks for all the great feedback keep it up. Again, Boomercat this is for you - thanks for your encouragement. Also, be on the look out guys, Boomercat and me are doing a fic together!

****

Coming Home.. Finally!

By Mouse

Thunderbird Five

Today was the day. The one he'd been waiting for now for almost three months. The day he finally got to go home. Alan had taken a little longer to heal than they thought he would, having had a fallen and jarred it again while in Paris with Tin-Tin; so John's stay in the station got extended by an extra fortnight. Gordon had called him almost every night, and when John was being perfectly honest with himself, he knew that it was about the only thing that was stopping him from going off the walls. Scott and Virgil had called at least once every couple of days as well. They had been busy with rescues as well, so that helped keep him busy although he could do without the worry for his brothers. He could only work out so much, look at the stars so much and listen to the radio so much. He'd spent some of his time learning a new language to help pass the time, so now was slightly able to conduct a conversation in Russian, which was a good thing.

He was standing in the main room by the main control panel, bag by the airlock packed to the gills, in his uniform. The last few weeks he'd taken to not wearing it, just hanging around in shorts and t-shirts that he preferred when he was off duty. Plus the fact he'd only had a few uniforms with him and continually washing them was getting a bit beyond a joke. He snotered softly to himself as he watched Thunderbird Three approach on the radar, who was going to know when he wasn't in uniform. He was eagerly awaiting Thunderbird Three's arrival, as he was just about the end of his patience being stuck in Thunderbird Five.

He glanced up as the radio chimed from home again. He sighed again; his father had been calling every ten minutes it seemed like to see if they arrived yet.

"Thunderbird Five receiving you base, go ahead." The picture came on and he saw his father sitting behind his desk, as always. He smiled at John.

"John, how long before Alan docks?"

"Five minutes father. Then another half an hour or so to help him install those new components Brians wants to try out, and then I'll be on my way home." Jeff grinned at his middle son.

"Don't worry about helping Alan John, I want you on Thunderbird Three and on your way home within ten minutes of his arrival." John frowned slightly.

"But Father, I thought those components were important?"

"They are, but getting you back down on firm ground after three months solid in space is more important. For once, we're going to think of you for a change." John glanced over his father's head to look at Gordon who shook his head as if to say I didn't say anything. John raised his eyebrow at his father.

"Father, this is unusual. I don't mind hanging around an extra half an hour to help Alan install those components. Scott can give us a hand as well." Jeff shook his head.

"Nope, Alan can do it, give him something to do. You are coming home, you've been away too long." John sighed, truth be told he'd rather get off the station as soon as possible, but his sense of duty was strong.

"Yes father."

"Good. Let me know when you're almost home. Base out." The channel closed and John blinked.

"Well, how do you like them apples." He muttered. Just then the hatch clanged loudly, signifying that Thunderbird Three was finally docked. He watched the airlock compress and then the green light above it came on. The hatch swung open and he found his two brother's standing there. 

The first thing Alan noticed was how tired and worn out John looked. He felt terrible for the long time his older brother had been forced to stay in Thunderbird Five while he got over the injuries he'd suffered during that rescue almost three and a half months ago. Jeff had spoken to Alan and asked him would he mind staying up there for at least five weeks so that they could send John on a nice long vacation. Alan had readily agreed, saying to his father that he had felt terrible that John had been forced to spend all that time in space for him. Scott noticed the same thing, and was glad that he had helped their father plan a nice long vacation for the quietest Tracy brother. They had even roped Penelope into their plans, she was only too happy to help, as she was fond of the quietest Tracy. They both grinned at John and Alan walked out of the airlock, bag happily slung over his shoulder.

"Hey big brother. Time for you to vacate the premises." John laughed and walked over to his brother, giving him a huge hug.

"Hey kiddo. You gave me a scare with that last rescue, so don't do it again. Now you can stay put for the next month and enjoy the view for a change. By rights, I should make you stay at least two months for me." Alan just grinned as he felt his brother's strong arms around him, gladly returning the hug. He laughed and looked into John's eyes as he released them. He could see the relief and tiredness in his brother's eyes.

"Well, Father says I'm to stay here for five weeks, give you an extra week off." John just grinned.

"Oh boy, a whole extra week, I'm soo lucky." Scott joined in the laugher and gestured for John to hurry up, bending over to pick up his brother's bag.

"Come on Johnny, let's get you home and on terra firma."

"Okay Scott." John looked into Alan's eyes, studying his brother a moment and then spoke softly, his expression serious and concerned.

"Look, if you feel bad or anything, and want to come back early, it's okay, I don't mind you know." Alan smiled, his older brothers had a tendancy for being slightly over protective but he knew that it was all meant well. Most of the time it was a good thing.

"I'll be fine, now scat. Enjoy yourself." John laughed and moved over to the airlock. "And John," John turned back, looking at Alan.

"What kiddo?"

"Thanks. For staying up here I mean. I know it wasn't easy." John just nodded and then broke out into a huge grin. 

"Hey, don't worry about it kiddo, I'll just take it out of your hide later." Laughing with Scott, he closed the airlock and entered Thunderbird Five. Alan watched them go with a smile on his face. He really was lucky to have such an understanding brother as John. Somehow he doubted any of his other brother's would have stuck it out as long as John had.

****

Thunderbird Three

Scott was quite happy to let John have the controls, as he normally did when they picked him up. He came back into the cockpit and handed John a mug of coffee. His middle brother accepted it with glee and smiled his thanks.

"Thanks Scott." He sniffed it appreciativly. "I'd run out of my own beans six weeks ago, and was drinking that instant crap that Alan likes." Scott laughed.

"Why didn't you say something, I could have done a supply run for you, you know. Brought you some more coffee beans and what ever else you wanted. And for that matter, why didn't you want me to take a few weeks for you, I could have you know." John looked at his brother a moment, studying over the rim of his mug. He sighed, Scott was clearly concerned and curious. John sighed softly.

"Look Scott, as much as I appreciated the offer for you to come and take some time on the station, we both know that I'm not as good as you with rescues. You're needed at the helm of Thunderbird One and in the thick of the action all the time. I don't have your experience, or knowledge of rescue's and situations, I don't have your self confidence in relation to doing the job." John just shrugged self depreciatingly. "I'm not as good as you, plain and simple." Scott was stunned at his brother's frank words, they shocked him to the core.

"I had no idea you felt that way Johnny. Do you really feel that you're not good enough to do my job?" 

"Any job really Scott on a rescue. I don't seem to have the instinct for it that you do. Like that Ocean Deep rescue we did last year. I could have cost us our lives, and the lives of the tanker crew. So my judgement's not that good sometimes." 

"Johnny! I won't have you talk about yourself that way. You're as every bit as good as any of us. You just don't have the experience we do. You have always been stuck in Thunderbird Five for ages and ages, it seems like you're never on the ground with us."

"Especially the last few months." John murmurred.

"You've had that same training as us, and are the better pilot out of the two of us, I know that for a fact. The only thing you're lacking is experience. But you've still been on over a dozen rescues. Your inexperience reminds us to be careful, and you actually take more care. But don't ever think you're not as good as any of us." John studied Scott carefully and sighed.

"Look Scott, as much as I appreciate the words, and the sentiment, I know the truth when I see it. I'm just a glorified answering machine. Who just happens to be an expert in laser communication, which is handy in our line of work. Face it Scott, I'm just a voice at the end of a call for help, and that's all I'll ever be." Scott didn't know what to say to that, so remained silent for a moment.

"Nothing I say is going to change your mind on that, is it Johnny?"

"No Scott, nothing you can say will change my mind."

****

Tracy Island

The sound of the roar of Thunderbird Three's engines went through the island home of the Tracy family. Gordon was eagerly looking forward to seeing his brother; he had been really worried about John over the last few weeks. They had talked quite a lot and a few times there, Gordon had begun to wonder if the isolation was finally getting to John, but somehow, his older brother had hung in there. Five minutes later the floor decended and then a lounge suite ascended, Scott and John sitting on it, talking softly. Jeff got up and moved around his desk, smiling widely. He reached out and gave John a hug as John stood up.

"Good to see you again son. In the flesh so to speak." John laughed and returned the hug, slightly surprised at the overt display of affection from his father; something Jeff rarely did.

"Thanks Dad. Good to see you again as well." John released his father and grinned at Gordon, walking over and giving his little brother a hug as well. "Hey squirt!" Gordon returned John's embrace with glee.

"Hey big brother. Nice to see you again." John laughed and looked at his father, his face still showing the strain of being up in space for so long; his arm still slung around Gordon's shoulders.

"It's good to be back on the ground after so long." He gave Gordon's shoulder a slight squeeze, letting his brother know how glad he was to be back, before dropping his arm. He walked over and picked up his bag.

"Well, I'm going to insist that you stay on the ground for at least five week's John, you deserve a break." John looked at his father in amazement. Alan had already told him that, but his sense of duty was strong.

"I'm normally only down here for a month father, are you sure?"

"Yes, I am." John blinked in surprise and then shurgged.

"Well, if you say so. But the first thing I want to do is unpack and get a good nights sleep in my own bed." They laughed softly and Jeff nodded, it was early evening but he could see the tiredness in John's frame and manner. As much as he wanted to sit down and really talk with his son, he knew that sleep came first.

"Sure son. Sweet dreams and we'll talk in the morning." Gordon came over and took John's bag from his hands.

"Come on big brother, I'll tuck you in." John laughed following his brother out of the lounge room.

"Yeah right, you probably just want to make sure I fall for what ever prank you've planned for me on my arrival home." They laughed loudly as they disappeared down the hallway and Jeff turned to Scott.

"Well?" Jeff had asked Scott to try and see how John was feeling emotionally after being alone for so long, and also to assess his phsyical condition. Scott went over to the bar and poured them both an unacustomed drink. He handed the glass of the amber liquid to his father.

"Well, I'd say he's pretty worn out as it is father. Physically he's always kept himself in shape, but I'd say he's been over doing in that mini-gym of his. You must admit, it has been very quiet lately. Also Dad, I think your going to have to talk to him, he seriously think's that he's only good enough to work on the station, not participate in the rescue's anymore. I think the isolation of thunderbird five has been hard on him. It's going to take a couple of days of him getting some good sleep and being around people to get him back to something close to normal. And definatly no rescues. He's been on that station almost three months, three months without seeing any of us in the flesh." Scott shuddered. "I don't know how he did it." Jeff sipped the amber liquid, letting it slide down his throat and he sighed.

"He's made of stronger stuff than we thought Scott. Now, Penny's all set to arrive in three days, and then we can spring our surpise on him." Scott grinned, listening as he heard laughter drifting down the hall, noticing that Virgil had joined in with Gordon and John. Virgil had been in the kitchen preparing a snack when they had arrived back home.

"I can't wait to see the look on his face when we tell him." They laughed and raised their glasses in a toast to each other.


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Thunderbirds, wish I did, I'd be rolling in it by now. Anyway, keep up the great feedback. Going to see if I can pull something off that's never been done before, so Boomercat, mate, let's see if I can shall we?

**An early morning chat between brothers.**

**By Mouse.******

**Tracy****Island****.**

After sleeping in for what felt like days, but in reality was only an extra few hours, John finally got out of bed, showered and dressed at around 10am the next morning. He felt slightly better after a good nights sleep in his own bed, but still abit tired and strung out. So today he planned to nothing more stressful than lie by the pool, sunback and sleep.

He went into the kitchen, finding it surprisingly empty for a change. He smiled to himself as he made himself some toast and poured a glass of orange juice. He sat down quietly eating his breakfast, reading the mornings paper that someone had thoughtfully printed out for him. It felt good to actually read it on print, instead of off a computer screen. He looked up as a figure came into the kitchen and smiled.

"Good morning Virgil, how are you?"

Virgil looked at his brother, noticing his eyes were clearer than they were last night, and his manner seemed to be lighter somehow. Amazing what a good night's sleep could do. Scott had filled Virgil in on the late night conversation he had overheard a few weeks ago, so Virgil was detirmined to spend some time with his brother.

"I'm good thanks John. Must say you're looking a little more chipper this morning. Coffee?"

"Please. Strong, black, two sugars thanks." Virgil laughed. It was a standing joke that the two of them liked their coffee that way, the rest of the family preferring white coffee or no sugar in the case of Gordon.

"No problems." Virgil busied himself for a few minutes preparing the coffee and put the mugs down on the table, sitting across from John.

"So, what are the plans for today?" John grinned.

"Well, not much more than sitting by the pool, catching up on some sleep and sunbaking. Basically doing nothing at all." Virgil grinned back at him.

"Sounds like fun. Mind if I join you? I don't have anything planned to do today." John smiled, in truth, he would be glad for some company. He'd been alone to long.

"I'd love you to join me." John sipped his coffee. "Hmm, this is good. Thanks." Virgil smiled.

"Any time. I must say, it's good to see you on the ground for a change. It's so much easier to talk to you face to face than through a screen." John snorted softly.

"Tell me about it." John drained his coffee and Virgil could sense his reluctance to talk about the long time he spent in space. "I feel like swimming first, you up to that?" Virgil nodded.

"Sure, let me finish this first. I'll even get together some cold drinks for us, going to be a nice hot one out there today." John got up, taking his plate and everything over to the sink.

"Thanks Virgil, see you by the pool." John left the room and Virgil sighed. What ever was bothering John wasn't going to be easy to get out of him. Oh well, spending time with his brothers, especially when he hadn't seen them for such a long time as in John's case, was one of his favourite past times. Draining his coffee, he quickly grabbed some cold drinks from the fridge, putting them in a small eski to take down to the pool, and he headed off to his room to change into his bathers.

A few hours later found Virgil and John lying on the chairs, sipping drinks and talking softly. So far only Jeff had made an appearance, telling them that Scott was working on Thunderbird One and Gordon was with Brains working on something for Thunderbird Four. Tin-Tin had taken her father to the mainland to do the weekly shopping. They had spent a nice hour or so swimming and were catching up on general things. Virgil decided to go back in for another dip but John declined. After a few moments Virgil looked over to find John lying on the lounge, asleep. Virgil pulled himself out of the pool and studied his brother, his expression serious. John's skin was fair, almost pale even, and now that he was asleep, Virgil could see the tiredness around his eyes, and the slight defensiveness that John had been giving off since arriving home. Virgil sighed and dried himself off. He looked up and noticed Scott walked towards them, a tray of sandwiches in his hand. Virgil walked over and met him, motioning for him to be quiet. Behind Scott came Gordon bearing a pitcher of lemonade and glasses. Scott looked over at John, his expression curious.

"He's asleep." Scott nodded and set the tray down quietly, Gordon did the same with the lemonade and glasses. They all sat around the table, enjoying the shade, all of them watching John sleep. Scott finally stirred after a few minutes.

"He looks so pale." Gordon nodded.

"Being up there so long, I'm not surprised." Virgil sighed and looked at Scott. 

"He's exhausted Scott. Emotionally I mean. Being up there alone for three months, that would have been hard." Scott nodded and Gordon spoke up softly.

"It got bad a coupe of times their guys. He was getting to the end of his tether I think, in the last few days." They looked at him, surprised.

"What do you mean Gordon?" They all spoke softly, as not to disturb him.

"I mean he was getting to the stage we're he was really starting to bounce off the walls. I was calling him every night, and I think that's the only thing that kept him going. He missed us, more than he'd admit to. You know John, always thinking of everyone else other than himself. Ever since we were kids." Scott looked at Gordon and sighed.

"I know. When Mum died, it was him that kept it together the most. He looked after Alan and you two as well. I had to try and keep Dad together. And he did it all without complaint. You know, I don't think I've ever noticed him having ever cried about Mum's death." They all watched John, noticing the way his chest rose steadily, softly. The faded scar on his right arm where he had broken it rescuing Alan from a creek bed that the youngest had fallen into when they were children at the old Tracy farm. The whole Tracy clan had been scared by that one, especially Alan. He swore that he'd never go near the creek again, much to John's quiet teasing. Scott sighed, worried about his brother.

"Dad and I have agreed, John needs a break. So no rescues for him while he's down here." And now Scott grinned. "In fact, Penny arrives in a couple of days to take him away. Our brother is going on holiday folks, to a winter wonderland with just about the most beautiful woman on the planet. I can't think of a better way to recharge your batteries, can you?"

tbc


	4. Chapter Four

_Disclaimer: Thank you everyone for the great feedback, although to the person that left the not so great feedback, if you'd have signed in, I would have let you know that I have plans, trust me, I love the character of John, no way was I going to make it worse for him. Anyway, usual applies, not mine, wish they were. This story has run it's course, but has set me a goal of writing another fic directly going on from this one, but as it's own separate story.. watch out for it.._

**A final, quiet, morning time chat.**

**By Mouse.******

The next few days past quietly for the family. John spent time with all of his brothers, not doing a lot and slowly coming out of his shell. Jeff had tried to talk to him about his long tour of duty, but John had been neatly side stepping the issue, saying he was fine and it was okay. In fact, all of his brothers had tried to get him to talk about his experiences, but no luck. The only one he would open up to was Gordon, but even then it was in spits and spurts. But over a period of about four days, they got a general picture of what their brother had been through.

The isolation had only been broken by the rare times of mind wrenching fear for his brothers when they were on a rescue. And then the constant worry about Alan when he had the accident that sidelined him for so long, even after they knew Alan was going to be okay. Then there were the periods of time when nothing at all happened. Even staring at the stars had begun to wan and pale in comparison to actually needing someone to physically touch or see.

Plus the mind numbing boring monotony of maintaining the station's systems, exercising, and cleaning, cooking, washing, general things like that. Even cataloguing the various calls received by the station, the ones not asking for help, but for favours and other things like that. Even the time taken to try and study another various languages in his vocabulary – John was already fluent in seven languages, and had a smattering of at least a dozen others – had gotten boring after a time. He'd been studying Russian this time, and had gotten enough of a handle on the language to get by. All of this had contributed to the fact that John felt alone, isolated and not apart of anything anymore. Hence his words to Scott that he didn't feel that he was good enough anymore. It had disturbed the remaining Tracy brothers when Scott had told them that the other day.

It was early morning on the day that Penny was going to be arriving; and it found Gordon and John sitting down at the dock, fishing rods in the water. They weren't expecting to catch anything, just wanting to spend some time with each other. So far, since he'd been home, John had spent his waking hours with at least one of his brothers, usually all of them, doing various activities. Mainly swimming a bit, a little hiking around the island with Scott, a game of doubles with all of them involved – John and Gordon versus Scott and Virgil – John and Gordon winning. So, this morning Gordon had crept into John's room early and asked would he like to do some early morning fishing. John had readily agreed, so, there they were sitting on the dock, a thermos of coffee between them and some sandwiches. Gordon looked at John, noticing how much more relaxed and at ease he was looking.

"So Johnny, how are you feeling now?" John looked at Gordon, and just smiled.

"I'm okay kiddo, really." Gordon sighed and just grinned back at him.

"Come on Johnny, you've been back four days now, you've caught up on your sleep and spent some time with us, by now you must have gotten yourself back on track."

"Gordy, I don't really want to talk about this now okay? I'm just glad to be back on the ground, safe and sound and with my family okay. That's all there is to it." Gordon stared into John's blue eyes, his own brown reflecting his concern. He knew when John was lying to him, and he knew that John was lying right now.

"No, that's not all that there was to it. Everyone noticed how stressed you were Johnny. And how tired you were. I know you Johnny; you wouldn't have been sleeping much, would you?" 

"No." John's reply was barely a whisper, his shoulder slumping slightly, giving in to all the frustration, loneliness and bitterness that had built up over the last three months. He had been hiding it well, but not well enough from Gordon. He turned his face away from Gordon's searching eyes.

"And you wouldn't have been eating well, you've lost pounds, pounds I might say, you didn't need to loose." John's lithe form had been a constant form of envy and some good-natured teasing from his other, heavier brothers. In fact, Gordon was the only one who didn't, as he was similar in stature and form as well.

"That's right." John's voice was subdued. He finally looked up again and stared into Gordon's eyes, his own blue eyes troubled and full of loneliness. Gordon felt his heartbreak and he reached out, enfolding John in a hug, all thoughts of fishing forgotten. 

"And I bet you thought we'd all forgotten you, that we were going to leave you up there on that lonely, cold, horrible station all by yourself didn't you?" John clung to him, returning his brother's hug.

"Yes." That barely came out in a terrified whisper.

"Oh Johnny, we could never forget you. You're the one we always depend on to keep us on the straight and narrow, to always be the calm voice of reason, to keep us going when all hope is lost. You're the one we all count on as someone who'll always be there, no matter what. Dad may be in charge over all and Scott in the field, but you're the one that we take our queues from, even Dad. So, never, ever think that we could forget you, or leave you alone. We'll never do that Johnny, never." The two brothers stared each other in the eye, as John's head had come up when Gordon spoke. Gordon spoke with such strength and conviction in his words that John just had to see for himself. "We love you Johnny, don't forget that, please." The last was a heartfelt plea and it was what broke the dam down that John had placed around his feelings. Tears welled in John's eyes and suddenly he pulled Gordon close, crying.

"I love you to, all of you." They sat there, holding each other, providing comfort for each other for a long time. 

Later on that morning, John sought out his father. The rest of his brothers were off down at the airstrip, clearing it off as an overnight windstorm had covered it with debris. Tin-Tin had left yesterday afternoon on some mysterious errand and was due back any minute. John came into the lounge room hesitantly, watching his father a moment.

"Father, do you have a minute?" Jeff looked up, smiling at his quietest son.

"Of course John, what's wrong?" John walked over and sat down in the chair by his father's desk. Jeff studied his son a moment, smiling gently at him. What ever had been bothering John, it seemed to have cleared up, as John seemed to be more sure of himself now. 

"I just wanted to say sorry for being a bit short with you yesterday." Jeff just chuckled softly. Yesterday he had cornered John in the kitchen, determined to find out what was wrong with his son. John had literally ducked and run away, avoiding his father for the rest of the day. Jeff smiled.

"That's okay son, I know that you have been feeling the effects of being up in space for so long. I just wish that you hadn't stayed up there so long. I know it must have been lonely for you." John nodded.

"Yes, it was Father." Jeff sat their, waiting for John to continue. "I think I would have been okay if we had been busy on the rescue front, but we only had three rescues for the entire three months. There's only so many things I can do up there." The last was said with a note of frustration in his voice.

"I know John, and I plan to rectify that. I've asked Brains if we could expand the living module on Thunderbird five, put some more things in to distract you boys when it's quiet. I'm sorry you had to stay up there for so long. Scott did offer to go up for a while you know." John squirmed a little uncomfortably in his chair.

"I know Dad. But what if he had been needed down here for a rescue. I wouldn't have felt right about it, he has way more experience than I do." Jeff started to speak but John held up his hand. "It's okay Dad. I don't mind being on the sidelines." Jeff tried to understand his son's frustrations, but couldn't.

"I wish I could say I understand John, but I can't. But the main thing is your home, with your family. I just wish I'd spotted how lonely you were feeling earlier." Guilt threatened to overwhelm Jeff; he had virtually banished his quietest son to the cold regions of space. He was surprised to see John's slight smile.

"It's okay Dad, really, it is. Most of the time I don't mind being there, in fact it's perfect for my work and my research. It just got a little hard this time, that's all. But don't ever think that I didn't want to be there, it's my job, and the one thing that I can do no one else does." Jeff studied his boy, proud at the way he had turned out.

"I'm very proud of you John. And I do love you, every much." John smiled gently.

"I know Dad. And I love you to." A pleasant silence covered them for a moment, and then grinning mischievously John looked at his father.

"So, does this mean I get a raise?"

An hour later they were all gathered together in the lounge room, crowding around Penelope, who had arrived with Tin-Tin. After coffee was given out and everyone settled in, Jeff finally asked the question they were dying to ask.

"So Penny, what brings you to the island?" Lady Penelope smiled urbanely and looked around the Tracy clan, her eyes resting a moment longer on John's quiet form.

"Well, I'm here to ask a favour. An old school friend of mine has requested I return a favour. He has invested in a chain of holiday resorts in various locations, seven to be exact, and wants an independent evaluation of them; see how they run, if the service is good, that sort of thing; before he sends in his team of experts to make any improvements if needed."

"Sounds lovely Penny, but what's the favour?" Penny blushed prettily.

"Well, you see. I've given Parker a few weeks holiday, he's been working so hard lately, that I felt he deserved it. Anyway, I need someone to fly me in my private jet. Normally I would do it myself, but some of these places aren't somewhere one goes unaccompanied, if you understand my meaning." The boys all exchanged glances, and standing behind John, Gordon's grin threatened to spilt his face apart.

"I think we do Penny. I'm sure one of the boys would love to fly you. So, what say you boys, who is going to go?" Scott glanced at Virgil, Gordon and then lastly at John. The grin on his face was even bigger than Gordon's.

"No contest Father. John can fly Penny. He's by far the better pilot out of all of us, and the change will do him good." John looked at his brothers, stunned. Normally they would be all over themselves to escort Penny anywhere.

"What? Me?" Penny laughed and clapped her hands together.

"Perfect! You can fly my jet John and finally get around to teaching me how to speak Italian, like you've been promising me all these years." John looked at his father, noticing the wide smile and love in his eyes. He turned his head and looked at Gordon. Suspicion forming in his mind.

"You organised this, didn't you squirt?" Gordon held his hand up, shaking his head.

"Nope, not me big brother. I know better than to try and make you do something you don't want to do." John looked at his father. Jeff smiled.

"It's settled then Penny, John's your pilot." Laughing and shaking his head, John looked around at his family, love filling his heart and soul.

"Alright you lot. I'll take Penny away. But don't whine to me about it later, I know how much Scott and Virgil just love spending time with Penny." John smirked at his brothers, perversely enjoying the wan expressions on his older brother's faces. Gordon clapped him on the shoulder, and they laughed. Suddenly, for the first time since arriving home, John felt whole again.

_Tbc__ in a new story… hehehe_


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